Sunday, December 2, 2018

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year! HA!

Going to see Santa, from your sweet baby's perspective...


Mom, where are we? There are a LOT of kids and lights and cotton ball stuff strewn around.


It smells funny in here, and it's hot.


Wait, we're entering a line... is it a line for ice cream? Cause' that would be great, I'm hungry, and ... wait...


Who's that weird looking person on the throne.


Why are those daddies handing their sweet babies to him, I don't ---


WAIT A MINUTE. IS THIS A CHILD SACRIFICE LINE?!


ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THIS OLD SWEATY DUDE IN VELVET IS THE GOD OF CANDY CANES OR


SOMETHING?! YOU KNOW WE CAN BUY THOSE! DON’T GIVE ME TO HIM!


I PROMISE NOT TO THROW MY CUP ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT THE ONE THAT’S THE WRONG


COLOUR, I— NOOOOOOOOO!!!


I DON’T WANT TO BE A SACRIFIIIIIIIIIICE!


TAKE ME BACK SAFELY IN YOUR ARMS, DON’T GIVE ME TO THE GUY WEARING A FUR TRIMMED


VELVET ONSIE!! PLEASE NO!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! PICK ME UP! HE CAN’T BE SANTA!


SANTA SMELLS LIKE COOKIES AND JOY AND THAT NEW TOY SMELL THAT I DON'T GET TO INHALE FUMES


OF NEARLY AS OFTEN AS I SHOULD! THIS GUY SMELLS LIKE SWEAT AND TIDE! DON’T LEAVE ME WITH HIM!


WHAT ARE THOSE FLASHES! ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES??! WHY ARE YOU DOCUMENTING THIS?!


IS THIS MY NEW LEGAL PASSPORT PHOTO?!


I DON’T WANT TO BE—- oh.


Oh, I get the candy cane? We’re leaving? Wait, are there presents?


Oh, we can go home. Thank goodness. My tiny heart is beating out of my chest, I was so scared.


I was too terrified to even pee on him so he’d let me go and I could run to you to save myself.


Can we have ice cream now?