In Defense of my Defense...

I find myself frequently running low on patience these days.

Normally, I consider myself to be a very patient person (at least for all outward appearances) because I consider that to be a trait of basic, common decency.

Being pregnant, all my "zen," has gone out the window.

I find myself talking out loud in the car... to no one.

Well, really, I am conversing with the driver who just cut someone off--
-- or nearly hit me by ignoring a protected arrow turning--
--- or who ran a stop-sign to my left--
--or who is tailgating myself or someone near me.

I also find that my passion is leaking out of me all the time!

Small things that would normally be the cause of a gentle discussion and frank exchange of ideas, set me up on a vehement soap box.

Most recently in defense of vegan and vegetarianism.

I find that I am less able to let things go -- I have to open my mouth. :-P

Sigh.

I was never so easily offended as I am now.

Noises, comments, worries... all of these things are parading around my consciousness.

The good news is, I have not tossed my cookies today -- without anti-nausea herbal help.
That's certainly a milestone.

The bad, or not "bad," so much as slightly disheartening bit, is that emotions (both my own and those of others) seem to affect me more than usual.

I thought I'd done my homework on this, but sharing a body with a tiny new life has spread my energies thin, and to be honest, I find myself becoming upset over ridiculous things that would never bother me normally.

I keep trying to envision "water off a whale's back," and to ground myself, but though I dig my bare feet deeply into the mud of the earth and my soul, I cannot seem to find my equilibrium.

"Oh Love, this is completely normal. Haven't you heard that pregnant women are crazy and hormonal and cry all the time?"

Well, yes. I have heard that. I will also admit, that I cry particularly quickly when I see cute things, like puppies.

However, while I am used to feeling passionately and deeply, I am not used to feeling constantly insecure and cranky all. The. Time.

Hopefully, this will pass.

Well, it has to.

In other news: I still love the smell that sits between the pages of books, as well as the smell of my fingers after playing my guitar.

At least I have some comforting things left. ;-)

Happy May Everybody.